I get my hair trimmed periodically because I want it to be healthy and bouncy and stuff. But yes, I'm currently trying to see how long it can get before it gets raggedy.

I just bought fabric for a new cross-body purse. I don't know how I made it through life before I discovered how great cross-body bags are.

OMG THIS IS GREAT LONG HAIR IS GREAT PEOPLE ADMIRING THE HAIR CAPE IS GREAT

LOVE.

Queenie looks so MISCHIEVOUS. And WHIMSICAL.

I have a high tolerance for pop music, and I couldn't do that Meghan Trainor video. I couldn't. I'm either getting old, or it's just that bad.

Tell me he backed down after you blew up. Tell me.

Seriously. If someone made me move to the goddamn desert they'd better be buying me whatever the fuck I asked for.

I made this horrified yelp-screech sound when I first saw this. Boundaries! BOUNDARIES!!! CAN U NOT, DUGGARS

Oh man, I have read so many romances. So many. I really like surprise baby and marriage of convenience romances—I like seeing people dealing with difficult situations and somehow falling in love. But it really needs to be believable marriage of convenience stuff—like, there needs to be a halfway valid reason for why…

Or you can just put the roll on top of the little shelving thingy to keep the cats from getting to it and murdering it.

There's a second box in the cabinet. You can growl periodically while eating them. It'll help.

The crunch. The faint sweetness of pecans. The crunch. The bite of salt. The crunch.

What. I never heard this. I could have used this knowledge those times I burned myself on the goddamn panini press at work.

REMOVE A USED SYRINGE IN A URINAL

I basically cooked myself all the way down one side of my right forearm.

Join the dark side.

Don't hate, y'all. It's a placential part of the postpartum diet.

I'm just imagining the sound of a placenta hitting the floor. And the mess. Like would it squirt...stuff...everywhere?

Why don't YOU have a collection of placentas?