Bernie Sanders 2016!

Ahahahaha! That is so delightfully shady.

Not sure whatever happened to him, but in the early-aughts, there was a thing called Pete Yorn who wrote a song that people liked so he toured small clubs. I saw him with some friends in the Attic in Pittsburgh. His lackeys pulled random girls out of the audience to meet with him after the show, and my friend was one…

I love that he thought that was better. “No, no, no! I wasn’t INSULTING you! I was SEXUALLY HARASSING you!”

I was at a party with Cedric Benson (NFL) when we were both in college and he groped me when he walked by and I looked at him and was like, wtf dude, and he responded basically with I do what I want and I flipped on him. Yelling all kinds of things getting in his face like who do you think you are don’t grab women…

Soooooo, this one time I just started working on a show about a superhero living as a young man living small town life in a small town (*WINK! I know y’all hate that shit*) and it was my job to tell the lead actor when we were ready for him on set. At the time, he was also in prep directing the next episode, so in…

I was on Jeopardy in 2005. He massaged my lower back while I was having my picture taken. It was more surreal than horrifying. For the rest of my life I can get drink out of that story.

I havent met hige celebrities but I did meet Mike Watt once, a few times, but smoked a joint with him once. He’s nice as fuck. I met the Xene from X, she was a b word. Adam Sandler waved at me, I couldnt talk I just smiled weird. I also stood next to Neil Young, I was backstage with my friend and was told not to…

Wayne Brady is a dick. In like 2003, he performed at my college. He was popular from Whose Line, but not a superstar or anything. My boyfriend at the time’s brother-in-law had asked us to find Wayne after the show. Turns out, prior to finding fame, Wayne performed in a multi-act show in Vegas with the boyfriend’s BIL.…

In the early 90’s, Oprah did not tip on a pizza delivery. A pizza delivered to her estate in Northern Indiana, in the middle of nowhere....in early February.

I have been fortunate over the years, as a result of chance encounters, my time in college, and various jobs, to have met numerous celebrities (including a now-former President twice in the month before his election, a A-list level superstar singer of whom I was and am a huge fan on my 21st birthday, and many actors,…

It’s the late-aughts and I am living in the Hollywood Hills. It’s a Saturday night and my friend is super sick. She’s asked me come over and take care of her but first pick up some cat food and juice. No problem, I say, I’ll just hit the liquor/convenience store across the street from my place. Do I need to change out…

Ellen Page. I met her at club in Culver in 2009. I had a black eye and she asked me how I got it. I told her I ran into a stop sign and she goes: “You’re supposed to stop at those.”

I’ve never been in much of a position to meet show business* or sports celebrities, but I’ve met a few science celebrities. Stephen Jay Gould was snidely dismissive of me when, after a talk he’d given at my graduate institution, I tried to tell him how important his books were to my pursuit of a graduate degree in…

Alex Trebek grabbed my butt during a group photo in high school. Jeopardy was never the same after that.

OOH! I have one! I was staying with my friend at her boyfriend’s family’s house on Shelter Island one weekend. We were hanging out by the pool one night, and BILLY JOEL and a bunch of his friends jumped over the wall and invited themselves to swim. He was such an arrogant asshole, and was saying overtly sexual things…

I bought a CD from a small band called Abney Park. Six plus weeks come and go, and I hear nothing. I learn I have to move to a different city, and try to sort out if the CD has shipped, or if I need to buy another. It’s only $20, and I don’t care about paying twice. It’s a small band. I email multiple times, and don’t…

Keely Clarkson/Pantera would be a weird concert... oh, nevermind.

Matt Dillon came up to me at the juke box in NYC’s Scrap Bar and said, “Put on Maggie May.” I replied, “Put in your own fucking quarter.”