Blow job jokes in 3...2...1...

First Aid 101, duh.

Sure, the dialogue is a little hokey, and the plot is a swiss cheese mess of pseudo-science (there's a perpetual energy machine involved... like forever power), but it's awesomely awesome because YOUNG VAL KILMER.

Well, that's just good parenting. Like watching Episode IV first.

Sadly, that makes two of us. I love watching this movie on a rainy sunday afternoon in my pjs while eating rice crispie treats. It's my happy place.

No one who remembers the much under-appreciated Saint is surprised by the Mark Twain disguise.

No mention of tennis on the wikipedia page, but they do mention the Wrigley estate, a 1970's take-over by Chicano activists, the death of Natalie Wood, a bunch of wildfires, and some marijuana busts.

IKR?!?!?!

Wig Sisters

It's a place in california, kind of resort/country-clubby, so I guess that sort of matches.

Yeah, I actually went to the dressing site (did you know you can send a "zestygram" to friends? I DID NOT) and saw this.

I think my preoccupation with the dressing flavor was a subconscious effort to avoid estimating how many pounds of body makeup were required to enhance said abs.

Wait, I can't blow (heh heh) this up big enough to tell: what kind of dressing goes with lying down on a tennis court? Lite Russian? I must know!

Wow, you gotta know how low you've fallen, when this happens. I mean, my sister in law worked at Hooters, and some guy offered to buy her uniform (as in, after her shift, when it was "used"). He still gets to go there.

I'm picturing the Venn diagram right now... if I wasn't at work, I'd make one up.

I assume this product makes the wearer walk like they're riding a very small invisible goat, thereby allowing us to identify them at a distance of at least 5 lap dances away.

Good eye! If it's not a scorpion or semi truck, I can't identify it at long distance.

I know our government has the handicap of dealing in piecemeal legislation (taxes over here, highway improvement over there, a dash of gun safety back in the corner, etc), so they might not have the time to pull together the plotlines, but let me lay this out:

Most of the photos I saw of bigfoot were of him standing upright, which makes it harder for someone to ride him effectively. The buckle could be from a bigfoot roping competition though, which wouldn't require a saddle or semi-horizontal position.

Not if you're Vladimir Putin, they're not