Because after that, they're too busy making sammiches? I don't remember that being part of my dowry contract.

That, or you'd be Julia Roberts from Pretty Woman.

Yes, this is Bad Math.

Agreed, this formula is lacking in specificity.

I had to stop when I got to the '5 kissing partners and 5 oral sex partners,' because huh? Does that mean a good girl gives oral to all the guys she kisses, like it needs some kind of symmetry, or that there is an equivalency that must be observed? "Well, I kissed you, so now you get a BJ *le sigh*"

Totally agree. I still think llamas >quinoa, but alpacas > llamas.

So, what you're say is (because I'm a total math nerd), someone's average BJ-giving lifespan is only 20.6 years? I'd like to think someone would disagree with that assumption:

Right?!?! Game, set, match, Llamas.

Really?!? Google LIES!

Dear Tufts,

What would you rather have?

I do like the idea that this happens in real life. I hope it's more common than I think.

It would actually make me really happy if this did happen successfully more often than I think it does. I'm just a cynical jerk, so don't mind me :)

YEEeeeaah, it was the World's Most Awkward Car Ride Home Ever, after him baring his soul (after flowers and music and you-name-it, in public) and me freaking the fuck out and then us both lapsing into silence.

yeah, mine was a sample size of one, and I'm obviously not an unbiased source, so maybe it's more common than I think, which would actually be nice :)

IKR? Irritating... I had a best friend in high school who orchestrated this big reveal date night thing with my friends and sprung it on me as a surprise. It was awful, and it mostly ruined our friendship.

World peace through kink.

Each iteration of global government has been better than the one before (the one the UN replaced, and so on), so hopefully we will keep getting better over time. It's just frustrating to see where we're at now and all the flaws that appear easy to fix, but in actuality are not.

I thought so too (especially with her being a comedic actress), but the article was written from such a serious place, unless that was tongue and cheek too?

I have not the cable access, so I didn't see this, but the gif is super amazing, so thanks for that. It puts me in mind of what would happen if Tobe Hooper made a movie about Jonah and the Whale.