I just sent the following email to my senators (OH - Brown/Portman), if it gets sent back to the house, I plan on sending it again to my house rep. If anyone is concerned, feel free to use it as a template or jumping off point for your own correspondence.

So... the Cardinals had a triple play turned on them because they don’t know how to run the bases, and they blew a lead, and they lost the game? Oh man, you really showed them with that trash talk! Why, I’ll bet they’re crying big salty tears at your sickest of burns.

No, you obviously don’t get it. Satan’s never been criticized for being sanctimonious. In fact, Satan is the complete opposite of that, so your comment was about as wrong as it could possibly get. (Before bothering to respond, I get what you mean, you just chose the exact wrong way to say it).

nb4 “We hit into triple plays the right way.”

The short answer is you don’t, they are always filled with spiders.

I’m trying to think of an appropriate Columbia response but it keeps falling apart.

Apt, considering the Canadiens have proved themselves to be a worthy Challenger.

At least these Hawks don’t have a “7th Man” moniker

Doc actually spoke to the family immediately afterwards saying, “Your descendant appears to have pulverized that sphere into an orbit of herculean magnitude”

Maybe he can post annoying spam on kinja about making $4 million from home with this one weird trick