Best Chicago baseball team I've seen in ages.

Fuckin Ayn Rand would have been all over that shit.

Sounds like approved Deadspin commenters.

I'm willing to bet my drinking problem that if the Jets ever get to that point, they'll drag Jenn Sterger out of retirement to drag Brett Favre's penis out of retirement which will then drag Brett Favre out of retirement.

I should go to bed but fuck it. My childhood is on tv.

If Matt Sims is in the headline of another Deadspin article I will stop drinking for a week, I promise.

Nah, that's just where they keep their amphetamines.

My last girlfriend didn't have that problem.

After seeing your name and picture, I'm thinking about playing KOTOR again.

Vapor pen? That's like shot gunning a keg of O'Douls.

No it makes perfect sense. The same people that made fun of you for being a fan are now cheering along next to you. Makes you angry because you were a fan before it was cool.

My prediction of hipster Seahawks fans saying, "I was a fan before it was cool!" has been proven correct.

Ah, the prize of youth is the knowledge that if you play your cards right and get a little luck, you'll outlive all the old assholes you've grown to loath.

New Deadspin comedy bit: Why your college fandom is morally bankrupt. First up Penn State.

Is it just me or did it happen when Family Guy was hitting its stride?

I haven't watched a Simpsons episode in a couple of years before but this marathon made me realize just how great they were during my childhood.

If they keep up this rowdiness the coaches need to bring in the county police, then the state police, then the national guard.

Yeah but you're not doing it in the name of a disease you can't even say right.

To be absolutely fair, a mountain of money has been raised. That's why, in a way, it's a double edged sword.