This might be surprising if there were anything else to do in Nebraska.

It’s harder to justify cosplay with your taxpayer funded military equipment when looking for missing persons and rapists.

If it had taken weeks or months to find this car, I would be a little more sympathetic to the police.

Bet if she had been an attractive 20 year old white woman they would have looked way harder.

... “Police work is hard, and we’re real lazy”.

“Showed her his receipt.”

Iranian backed militias are estimated to have been behind the killings of 1/6 of American troops in Iraq.

This is why you shred documents early and often, boys and girls. Once you are served a subpoena, it’s destroying evidence.

“...the video shows a clueless Trump...”

It also doesn’t show him cheating at golf, but it’s fiction so I guess we let that slide.

Im just going to weigh in as a veteran of the Iraq war and say Soleimani was a murderer of Americans. He perpetratrated attacks on US forces and aided the Iraqi insurgency for many years after OIF. I didn’t like him.

But nowhere near as peaceful as Christianity, amirite?

Look, I’m not saying that this would be just... fantastic, but I’m not not saying that, either.

I cannot abide shredded coconut in any other application, but I will fuck a box of Samoas all the way up. Thin Mints would be the best of the rest, for me. I can’t remember the last time I had any other kind.

Man, where are all of the good guys with guns that Texans love to talk about whenever the subject of gun control comes up?  

Come again? A Texas dealership where all the workers didn’t pull out their Colt revolvers and pump him full of lead? Say whut?

Honestly I have never understood thin mints. Like yeah they’re fine but they’re not something I would eat a box of in a disgusting gorging session. meanwhile I would do that to Tagalongs, Toast-Yays, Lemonades, and Samoas without question and I likely will do that in the coming months.

Unnecessary. Goldfish are perfect as-is. (as-are?)