those unfortunate shoes though. and that bag... is that a bag?? Looks like a grocery bag. and of course the hideous swimsuit. Girl needs a stylist ASAP!

Hell, y'all, all I know is that this looks WAY too close to the hospital-issue undies they gave me in the maternity ward after having my baby.

Girl. Being weird is awesome. Banality just might be the worst thing about pageants.

Katy Perry and Duplo are doing intercourse in Jamaica.

You are so boring.

After D&D axed Pyp and Grenn, I'm just glad Dolorous Edd is alive. DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM, YOU BASTARDS.

"shot by some little Zelda/Link motherfucker"

shot by some little Zelda/Link motherfucker

I started having sex when I was 14 and I never regretted it. (And not because I'm, like, a no-regrets person. I do at least 20 things I regret per day, most of which are cigarettes.) That doesn't mean all 14-year-olds should be having sex. Have you met a 14-year-old recently? They are MERE BABIES. But it means people…

Yeah, I find the age typing to be a bad way of approaching this, at least for a class full of 14-year-olds. Opinions on this are going to vary, but I think a small number of kids are capable of having sex in a healthy way at 14, and that there are other kids who don't have any business going on dates at all.…

I'm personally quite appalled at the cavalier way you're treating "smiling at." I mean, I feel it's a bit raunchy for a supposedly SFW site, I certainly don't approve of it being discussed around eighth graders. In my day this kind of sheer disregard for moral standards would never have happened.

If you need me, I'll…

I'm just kind of over the idea that we have to market condoms based on "it feels nice!" as opposed to "it's fucking required I don't care if it completely numbs the feelings for both partners, if you want to have sex and you both haven't agreed to be monogamous and have been tested, THEN WRAP THAT SHIT UP." Like, I…

In Mississippi, one is usually praised for pointing to places where there appears to have been no evolution.

Seeing him in MMA is actually not as odd as you'd think. If you read "Tao of Jeet Kune Do" you'll see that he studied other martial arts forms extensively. He probably would have been one of the first people to endorse MMA. It would've been awesome to see him actually fight in a ring, but I doubt there would've been…

As a Mississippian, I approve this message.

What an idiot. He should have waited until he visited Orlando before making those kinds of remarks.

Not buying this until they announce a playable Chuck Norris.

Totally understandable. "Worst place in America" is about the only thing Mississippi's got going for itself. You can't just give that away to Louisiana.

It's probably not the worst place in America, but Louisiana City is definitely the worst state capital.