When killing all humans, Gwyneth-bot only uses the finest rosewood handled stainless steel Gyuto.

I love how the Goopster has lowered the bar so much that Ms. Jolie even displaying the most basic level of rudimentary self-awareness is applause worthy.

Woah, wait a minute...You had a point?

A smart, beautiful young woman with a healthy sexuality is dead because her peers pulled out the long knives. Fuck those kids. Let's see their names posted online so their conduct will be discovered by any person (e.g. an employer, friend, or partner) who does a Google search of their names.

That uncompromising, enterprising, anything but tranquilizing, right on Maude!

I love that Julianna Margulies made (or started to make) this joke, since she and Clooney must know each other from all those years on ER.

Yesssss on What's Happening!! And you remembered the double exclamation points!! I kind of love you for that <3

oh yeeaahh!!! I can't believe I forgot. crazy. The M*A*S*H theme has lyrics too, but you only hear them in the movie (which did come first..)

Um, pleez

Whoa, whoa. Before you assess my person-ness, note that I thought we were sticking to 80's-90's TV themes. Here's my "of all time list":

I would take Welcome back Kotter, Chico and the man, and WKRP over the Jefferson.

It's so original that it's sung by Kelsey Grammer.

FAT ALBERT, the cartoon from the 70's. HEY, HEY, HEY!

Family Ties FTW

And people are bitching about Zohydro. This is exactly why you have Zohydro and Oxycontin so you're not obliterating your liver while still getting pain relief. We really just need to rethink how we treat pain in this country. It's a fucking shame that you have to feel like a junkie and sometimes be treated like…

Yeah, conservatives are all for personal responsibility except when (a) "personal" means them or (b) they're not.

'Conservative' has apparently become a code word for "reflexively supporting the side with the most power in a given situation."

"Personal Responsibility"

What the fuck is conservative about this particular issue (whether the NFL has responsibility to have ethically behaving doctors)? What does conservative even mean to you? Not every issue is this binary political question where we all pick either R or D each time, jackass.

99 bottles of vicodin on the wall, 99 bottles of vicodin, you take them all down, pass them around, opiate addictions due to football