I love Dolly Parton. Love.

Is it wrong of me to admit I was hoping this was more like a burglary and involved Bieber dressing like a ninja and sneaking around people's bushes or something?

I feel like Bieber would just eat up being able to label himself as someone who robbed someone. I don't want to give him that satisfaction.

Well, you may not classify it that way, but his actions fit the definition of robbery perfectly. He took someone's property through force or intimidation, period. That's robbery. It's only "attempted" because she got it back.

Shit goes down in the valley, y'all.

I'm irrationally excited that I stayed up past my bedtime to read this.

Meh. It's a just me thing. I work alone and I don't have an editor to bounce stuff like that off of late at night, so I usually just err on the super duper safe side. That's how I roll. Also, this is Jezebel and we have our own set of distinct editorial policies separate from Gawker or other GM sites. (Just to…

Stacking an argument to gain click isn't only bad journalism, it's irresponsible. He has created an environment that promotes racism while the comments section show this by reading like a prototypical speech at Tom Metzger's house.

Seriously. I might drool a little when he comes on screen. But only my cat is here to judge me.

Helping him out would be good for his welfare and well being as a student athlete, so of-course the NCAA would have issues with that! Next thing you know he is going to want seconds of pasta.

If a tornado had interrupted the finale of Lost, I would have been thankful.

Thank fucking God we finally had someone stand up and say something. Working in broadcast with a background in hazard mitigation and meteorology, I can't tell you how fucking often I deal with this bullshit. Sorry people. The Internet is great tool to watch your fucking shows. Meteorologists take an oath to protect…

I don't think it would matter one bit what the show was. People do this if you interrupt a rerun of Barney Miller.

But MY show is more IMPORTANT than YOUR LIFE. When will you people understand this? It's not rocket science. I should be able to watch a show without having to hear about life-threatening natural disasters and bullshit like that! And tomorrow, when the news talks about hundreds of people dying because they had no…

You have over-witted him. Half is way too generous.

I heard men like it when it's just the tip.

The Camptown Ladies?

Fix it, Jesus, oooh oooh