You manage the Red Sox.

I knew that comment would have a swift and severe backsplash.

what the fuck does this have to do with Demarcus Cousins?

The last time someone dealt with the Knicks, Suns, and Hornets on successive days, it ended with three days of darkness and the death of their firstborn.

Give the guy a break. He was obviously distracted by the weird ghost lamp floating next to him.

The U.S. team to the Russians, “We have a Simone.”

It makes more sense when you accept they don’t actually give a shit about “unborn babies.” They simply want to punish women for having sex. 

In fairness, if you can read that billboard, you don’t live in Alabama.

Also I would like to own a hat

Based on what he says, if any of that sweat is on his back he is gonna get deported.

Thanks..................................................................

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

Sino wave generator.

Quick! Get to your parent’s computers and, if they even boot in the 2 hours you have remaining in your visit, attempt to uninstall anything. 

Vladdy working out all of Toronto’s aggressions in losing Kawhi.

The tweet says the suspension is unpaid.  I think paid suspensions are only for cops who shake down or shoot innocent people

James Dolan was born on third, meandered back to second and yelled “TOUCHDOWN!”

it shows Vargas having to give this half-assed remarks

“Sacrifice” implies that something of value was lost

Although the idea of sacrificing them is something worth discussing.