It could be worse.  He could have traded for Lonzo Ball ... oh wait, don’t give him any ideas.

After the game, the British woman was jumped by Zack Hample, who took the ball away from her, posed for a picture with it, put it on Instagram, and boasted that he had caught another baseball, thus adding to his lifetime total.

I think the USWNT should send Hope Solo to the White House as the team’s representative.  She’d probably knock some sense into that orange goblin.

I’d prefer the Adamant theory, where the entire team wears guyliner and highlander garb, and everyone plays by the rules - including that goody two shoes middle reliever who, upon reaching the pitcher’s mound, stands and delivers strikes and balls.

First thing first.  I want the new Raw broadcast team to be Joey Styles and Tazz.  Maybe keep Renee Young.  Send Michael Cole to NXT.  As for Smackdown, find Mike Tenay and Larry Zbyskzo, maybe even Tony Schiavone and put them behind the microphone.  Send Todd Phillips and Byron Saxton to NXT to join Cole.  And give…

There should be a sign in Meghan McCain’s studio office - “I have gone two days without referencing my father in one way or another on The View.  My previous record is three days - but that was because there was a federal holiday on Monday.”

Is it too late to visit the record store and hear the Heaven Seventeen?

The only time Donald Trump ever cared about women’s soccer was the time he heard that Brandi Chastain took off her top after scoring a championship goal.  And when he discovered that he couldn’t see any accidental boobies the same way he could by busting into his Teen Miss USA pageant dressing rooms, he stopped caring.

I’ll bet the Toronto Raptors are REALLY, REALLY happy they get to meet with Justin Trudeau instead of this micro-handed Cheeto.

As long as he doesn’t make any comments about the people you would see on a New York City subway, he’ll be the best Rocker to ever play major league baseball.

Committee member: Mr. Muller, did you ever say that there was “no collusion” in your report?

How does that jingle go?  “Wayfair, you got nothing I need...”

And somewhere in the distant horizon, Dennis Banks is smiling and saying to himself, “About fucking time.”

Meanwhile, the Republicans are searching through AOC’s campaign records to see if she bought a pack of chewing gum with campaign funds so that they can have a “clutch the pearls” moment.

Of course, we all know what Donald Trump’s “type” is.  He likes to rape porn stars, Playboy models, and future ex-wives.  Oh yeah, and he needs Tic Tacs to do it, because he might just randomly walk up and kiss someone, he can’t help it.

I’m surprised Mulvaney isn’t tasked by Trump to run six other Cabinet positions by now.  At this point he’s barely a dime store utility player for the Mets.

Meanwhile, critic Jay Sherman looked over the story and said, “It Stinks!”  Then he checked his answering machine for any updates on a possible third season of The Critic on Disney+.

Morganna the Kissing Bandit and her size 78 DDD’s says at least wait until Bellenger gets to the All Star Game.

I think the proper way to treat Bobby Bonilla Day is to show up at Citi Field with a customized Bonilla Marlins World Series jersey ...

All you need now is the Jordanaires on harmony.