"The judge was stunned and asked if the guy was on drugs, to which he responded "Yeah, and drunk too." You can imagine where it went from there."

"Warning: These may contain graphic material."

Jello is for sex. Not as a course in a meal. Dingdong.

Best of luck Issac.

What do we pour on people for concussion awareness?

My sheep will get jealous.

Bastard +1

This. I'm not going to censure anyone for making light of our horrible existence, the one thing that makes like bareable sometimes. But a friend of mine did a stunt off the porch of a frat house years ago and ended up crippled from the neck down and I, personally, can't find humor in this.

• The instruction "remove your pork belly to the fridge to thaw overnight" indicates that you live in a land of savagery and madness. Why is it not fresh? Just end it all.

Unsmoked, otherwise don't bother. Cut it into big chunks. Start sweating it, with 1 teaspoon of oil. Get the fat to run. From there:

I think we all won the fantasy league, in this case. I mean metaphorically.

Waste of time. Jerk off furiously into your hat. So I've been told.

Is it white smoke or black that signifies the new election?

You said the gun was automatic, but it was semiautomatic!!!! SHUTUPLIBTARD

Hint: meth.

Too bad the worthless fuck didn't die then.

It really looks like he was trying to teach the kid a lesson, or something.

This is the sort of wedding that that might be improved by a drone strike or two.

The gods look down and laugh.

In the original story, he forgot to mention how he was sporting an awesome fedora.