Oh honey NOOOOOO. Please tell me you went to the doctor and got antibiotics and such.

Still sick. Bronchitis. Stayed home from work all this week, oh and btw I'm an independent contractor, no sick days. Also, new work address, 2 hour commute one way. ARRRRGLE BARRRGLE. Dear Universe, please send me a lapdance from Simon LeBon, OK?

Maybe because I'm mean, the instant rejoinder that comes to mind is "Well, I could have this conversation with someone who's a complete douchecanoe, but I have other priorities."

Can we name the pup "Mine"? Because she's adorbs.

I think I got my husband's cold. I am way too busy to have a cold. AUUUUGH. On the plus side, in about two days I'll have the sexy deep voice I was meant to have!

Mr. Chryss used to do that, and I used to turn to him and say, "Yes, calling me on it will certainly fix my grumpiness PRONTO." Now he just finds cute puppy and kitten pics to show me. I think I am the luckiest woman on earth.

Holy crap, y'all. Patton Oswalt tweeted about my niece today:

If he steals my "eau de mimeograph" idea I will cut him. Of course, as he's 13, fat chance of that ever happening...

@ladybirda: I'd let someone grope me if they could have Duran Duran playing JUST FOR ME.

Ha! So "I Was Amelia Earhart" might have been for real!

@BringerofthePain: Considering I tried to lick the screen, I would say one need not put anything in cupcakes to make them addictive.

@hotpinklovesofa: Share links! LINKS!!!!

If my beloved-but-deceased cat Myrddin Emrys had been a polydactyl, he wouldn't have given thumbs-up. He would have stolen the keys to the car and gone on a rampage. That cat was super-smart.

I want the suitcase. I am not proud, Beth. Call me.

I am charmed both by Larry and by that orange color on the walls. Very, VERY nice.

GO TANZANIA!

@BrutallyHonestBabes: I want 1920s hair. IS THAT SO WRONG? What the holy hell does it take, people? What does it take?

@GirlsInSpace: Lawyer money? That's why he's representing himself.

So two weeks ago, I said "screw you" to 2010 and Mr. Chryss and I adopted two kittens from a rescue. They are 6 months old, littermates, and brothers. We have named them Gilbert and Sullivan.

@chatterboxwriting: You are absolutely not a witch. You did the right thing, and as long as you were polite about it, everything is A-OK.