Buy a Right Hand Drive car

If you can’t down a big gulp and hot dog whilst handling a stick shift, you shouldn’t be driving.

I was shot through my right forearm about 30 years ago. Shifting gears hurts after a while so I buy automatic transmission cars. I guess that’s an excuse but it wasn’t my wife who shot me so am I good?

I’d love to stop the “ugh my WIFE” types of comments altogether. It seems like a major boomer/x-er staple to, for some reason, communicate that you loathe the person that you’ve chosen to spend your life with. I can’t wait to never hear a wife or “my husband is sooo stupid” esque joke ever again.

Can I blame the big gulp and hot dog that I want to wolf down on the way to work?

Make it a game!

Good take.

I’ll write a follow-up: Stop Blaming Your Traffic-Filled Commute and Just Admit You Want an Automatic.

Driving a stick in traffic is not a big deal if you’re not an old-timer.

I taught my wife when we were dating.

I have been trying to teach my wife a manual for *checking notes* 18 years. After a point, it won’t happen. Especially with kids. My better says she does not want to have to think about shifting when there are two screaming miniature two-legged wild miscreants in the back. I am not pushing THAT button.  

Good planning with the wife, but I did one step better. I only knew one single woman at the time that drove a stick. I married her.

Could always teach your wife to drive a stick, then expand your horizons to the extra *checks notes* 3 or 4 used cars that opens up.

It’s really more for doing WRC-style rally stages than actual offroading. You wouldn’t need a winch unless you crash, and at that point the winch probably isn’t going to help you much anyway.

The winch is on the groundkeeper's lorry.

I like it. A bit of ground clearance and some nice sidewalls are always welcome.

“my AOA (I don’t know what that means and refuse to learn) started to inexplicably and relentlessly beep whenever I pitched above 0 degrees. In other words, to shut the damn thing up, I had to keep my nose angled down. I crashed.”

It looks like in all those screenshots you're going way too fast or slow. Did you learn to trim?

My mom has BAD dementia. Dad has plenty of $, but Mom’s mind just can’t relate to the price increases. She tried to order a side dish for dinner last week because it was the only thing under $15 on the menu.

It's really dependent on torque at idle, gearing and drivetrain mass. A 2000 Civic is definitely likely to stall attempting that. A jacked up truck with a blown V8 might stall because of the 4.11 gear ratio in the rear axle and the giant tires regardless of power.

I’ve only tried to learn manual once, 15 years ago in a 2000 Civic Si. But this line “without touching any other pedal, release the clutch until it moves on its own power”, wouldn’t it just stall?

This method is MUCH easier with modern cars with lots of power at idle. The pickup that I learned on did have an SBC 350, and it was pre-emissions restrictions, but really didn’t have enough torque at idle to start moving from a dead stop.