That looks shopped. If that was really Trump, big macs would fly out of his head.

I’m liking AOC more.

I gotta saw, I was excited for AOC in Congress, but I figured there would be some awkwardness and growing pains. She is fucking poised and knowledgeable and DANGEROUS right out of the gate. I love it.

“When you find your purpose, you don’t quit,” he said. “That’s not what I advocate. I advocate getting back up.”

Agreed. I don’t see how this kind of self examination and self improvement is different than narcissism.

I’ve been on the OMAD (One Meal A Day) for the last two weeks and I’ve really noticed the opposite. I no longer have the late afternoon post lunch crash, and overall I have more energy throughout the day. Now to be fair, that mainly could be due to the fact that I am overweight by 40-50lbs, so my energy could just…

If life is fair, the Trump Library will consist of a placard above a urinal inside an interstate rest area in Mississippi.

“It’s not ignorance, it’s a protective shell of non-knowledge!”

Its like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, except we haven't found the dozens of endings where we all die yet.

So the generally very Republican FBI, who helped put Trump in office when Comey decided to issue a “but her e-mails” report right before the election, is so horrified by Trump’s behaviors and actions that they feel compelled to start an investigation into the possibility that the President of the Fucking United States…

i am eagerly awaiting ben shapiro’s guest appearance on splinter.

I mean is it really that odd? There are other countries that do the same. Like Russia and North Korea.

The trunk. The correct answer to where to mount the plate, is in the trunk. under the trunk floor. Just shut up and pay the $60 ticket. Some things are worth paying for. Fixing ugly is one of them. Also God help the dealer that takes a drill to that nose without consulting with the customer first whether they would…

It was a calculated risk. He did a LOT of searching to find the right one with enough miles to be the right price, but also had a CPO. Its worth it for his dream car. He’s wanted one since he was working two jobs and going to school, and Joe Walsh was on the radio singin: MY MASERAAAATI DOES 185.

Wizards are going to have to declare a national emergency to pay his contract.

Trump is unfamiliar with the concept of someone not doing the work just because he hasn’t paid them. 

Seems appropriate to me. Why would guys who hate democracy practice it when they're not absolutely forced to?

That’s a Lada nails.

You see Ivan, tire cannot be of flat if it is made of puncture.

But I don’t have to outrun the tiger. I just have to outrun you.