The most pertientent question is not being asked by anyone. That question is:

“In this world, nothing can be said to be certain, except for death, taxes, and the Jaguars pretty much every NFL franchise drafting terrible people.”

Good point. Copyright issues can be a handful in the breast of times. Best to nip it in the bud.

And if you want a golf hat that says “Titties” on it 

He’s a racist loudmouth. If I want that, I’ll watch Fox News.

That’s a pretty shitty thing to say. When you make jokes like this, you really show you...sho...shro your skripes...sow you stripes...

Team Meteor all the way.

If character was something written on people’s faces, Mayweather would fail to read that too.

I was dreaming of a small meteor striking the ring and wiping them both out, but lighting rig falling would suffice.

Personally, I’m rooting for the lighting rig to fall.

“It’s pretty simple, I was just faster than my training partner.”

Interviewer: Would you like to punch LaVar Ball in the head? If so, what part?

I thought using “LaVar Ball” canceled out “Fuck”. English grammar is so confusing.

I’m in a long distance relationship and we both enjoy sending & receiving selfies since we often don’t see each other every day. Definitely not as good, but still a nice way to keep in each other’s lives.

“ A recent study suggests most selfie-takers aren’t into themselves any more than normal people.”

I have long thought that Blue Ivy was a nice name unfairly lumped in with terrible celebrity baby names.

Johnson: [gets knocked out cold]

This is really a good article. I love Jalopnik, but too often the articles are light on substance and resort to crude humor in an attempt to seem “edgy”. This is a great story, told well. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 

Pretty sure the human trafficking stats remain high in the countries that manufacture her shitty clothes.