Excellent background music.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

No, you guys are all idiots. There's only one outstanding player award. Smh.

Smart car owners will bitch and call insurance and a tow truck to tip it back.

I fantasize about trashing Harley-Davidson bikes myself...

Whatever Jeremy says that precedes "... in the world" will be replaced with "North Korea is the most glorious country".

*look around* hey,my two kitties sometimes gives me allergies too. i-ahhh!

Well, I guess I'm just going to have to be stuck being the one who dons the "Unfunny Old Fuddy Duddy" hat for the evening while I side-eye this guy for making a joke out of driving drunk. *SIGH* It's OK. I understand when you guys want to laugh at inappropriate things. I still love you.

toss-up, really? I'd argue that the dads' abilities would fit into a normal distribution model, suggesting that the overwhelming majority would be deemed average dad (no, divorcee/separated dads aren't by definition deadbeats) and the extremes can be divided into equal parts good and bad. I know exaggeration promotes…

Saying you had a shitty dad who molested you = misandry? If you have to reach that far, your problem doesn't really exist.

Add another fifty pounds to the minimum weight, today. That would allow normal-sized humans with healthy bodies to be competitive. Teams with smaller drivers could add ballast, and this could be done immediately. It's a safety issue, and could be instituted by the FIA without the teams having to approve unanimously.

I'm really holding out hope on this one. They claim to have learned from the mistake of JP III. Plus, they are supposedly going back to Isla Nublar for this one, which is what the audience has been waiting 20 years to see again.

Or you're Sean Connery.

"Whaddya gonna do, sit there and look at your wife in the hospital bed for two days?"

Sean Connery's like "Eat it, Trebek!"

I wonder what this buffoon thinks of Pedroia leaving mid-game to be with his wife who was in labor.

Mike Francesa is the kind of dude who won't pick up tampons/pads for his gf/wife.

Mike was referring to his producer who got 10 days for paternity leave and laughed that it was a "scam"; the 10 days had nothing to do with Murphy. Regardless, Francesa was saying how people with "unique" jobs such as professional athletes and himself need to get back to work quickly. This is his belief even though he…