Obviously this hashtag could use a parody. Picture of a cucumber? #aftersex. Picture of an apple? #aftersex. Picture of a pristine bedroom where you could bounce a quarter off the sheets? #aftersex #GOOP

You know what this article needs? More crying and bitching about the Cherokee.

I know you guys decided to ignore all the typical April Fools shenanigans, and I understand why, but I must say Petrolicious' video today was simply amazing.

Thank you. I applied to 11 schools, sans waiver. I considered it a solid strategy for my very indecisive, seventeen year old self. And, believe it or not, I was black the entire time.

I personally hate the front license plate. Its useless, ugly and costs the taxpayers extra money.

Do you ever think that the reason the Walking Dead are always so hungry because they're worn out form all the damn walking? Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Pontiac hearse could be like public transit for the passed-on, but will its price make you give it a pass?

That's so fucked up. I think her cinnamon bun hairdo and her white dress are more iconic but what do I know, I'm just a woman who happens to like sci-fi.

I was there last night. Stamkos scored 2 goals for his own team, including the game winner in OT. I got a good chuckle when immediately following the OT goal a few people threw their hats on the ice.

Steven Stamkos has officially scored more goals for the Sabres this season than Ville Leino.

Chrysler bought AMC to get Jeep. Daimler Benz bought Chrysler to get Jeep. Cerberus bought Chrysler to get Jeep. Fiat bought Chrysler to get Jeep. _____ bought Chrysler to get Jeep.

Oooof. This hits really close to home. A few years ago, I went through a period where nearly every man I dated had some story about the much-older woman he had sex with while he was a very young teen. On the surface, it was always told as a tale of their virility and impressive masculinity, a story meant to make me…

Jeep will outlive Fiat-Chrysler. It will undoubtedly outlive the company that buys F-C.

Impreshive

NPH, on the other hand.....

I ain't gonna front. I'm a happily married hetero-normative dude and if NPH said he wanted to make out.... fuck yeah, I'd make out.

I'll bet if someone climbs in that van and shuts the door, they'll come back out with bell bottoms and sideburns.

Billy Eichner is unwatchable.

The Alouettes have been in 8 Gray Cups since 2000, winning 3 of them (and 7 in their history. Montreal embraces winners. They will not abandon the Alouettes for the Bills. Don't forget, Quebecers hate* the rest of Canada, what do you think they feel about the US?

The Bills get a lot of their support from fans coming…

A Blue. A lukewarm can of Blue from the bottom of a cooler that's still got a red Bills helmet sticker on it.

Oh good, here's a chance for everyone to acknowledge that without Ralph Wilson, the AFL would have collapsed and the NFL as we know it would not exist.