Kind of surprised none of the players ran up to the mound with pixelated dongs.

Man, I bet truck guy wishes he had a vine.

Afghanistan can be rebuilt quicker than this flaming shitwreck.

WHIP. Walls Hit in Planes.

I would have to say Total Boogers Eaten.

She always said she would give her right eye for Stuart Scotts job.

Steve Jobs was a tool.

IT'S "THE MAIN EVENT", NOT "THE MAIN STEVENT"!!!

2 Chins 1 Cup

The NFL's decision makes more sense when you consider what Riley Cooper has been wearing...

When Todd Haley feels like courting a woman he runs circles in her front lawn with his GTO. When the smoke clears, the phrase DTF is etched into the grass.

Pictured: The first four victims in happier times.

At least it's better than fellow Lions Calvin Johnson and Matthew Stafford who refer to each other as "Meal Ticket" and "That fucking goofus redneck who can't throw a goddamn decent ball my way".

This isn't that uncommon— I hear that Mark Sanchez playfully calls some of his black teammates "n——-r," and they call him "terrible."

[cums]

Banned from seeing action for a year and a half, huh? Looks like MLB has been taking lessons from my ex-girlfriend. THAT'S RIGHT I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU KAREN YOU FRIGID BITCH

I applaud Riley for his efforts to overcome attending a Kenny Chesney concert.

Who said Bostonians can't pronounce the hard R?

So I'm just going to put you down for a shank.

Andrew was reminded why she is an ex... because she takes videos in portrait mode. I'm sorry you had to date that monster.