I can't believe they left off my favorite song, "Porny porny porn porno porn smut." Probably because it was released on an indie label. Also probably because I wrote it myself and have only ever played it for the dolls in my basement.

I can't believe they left off my favorite song, "Porny porny porn porno porn smut." Probably because it was released on an indie label. Also probably because I wrote it myself and have only ever played it for the dolls in my basement.

In my experience, simply making the assumption gives one the same warm feeling inside, regardless of its accuracy.

In my experience, simply making the assumption gives one the same warm feeling inside, regardless of its accuracy.

I don't know what that is. But if it makes you happy, embrace it.

I don't know what that is. But if it makes you happy, embrace it.

After learning of this, I plan to continue my streak of never having read a Philip Roth novel.

After learning of this, I plan to continue my streak of never having read a Philip Roth novel.

Communist.

Communist.

True.

True.

Well, now you have to tell us.

Well, now you have to tell us.

Wow. That is both hysterical and awful. She may as well have just said "I'm going to be bad at this."

Wow. That is both hysterical and awful. She may as well have just said "I'm going to be bad at this."

I've actually heard women say that they're insecure about giving blowjobs and handjobs because they're afraid they're no good at it. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a bad blowjob (unless she treats it like a teething ring), but I guess I can understand not knowing that if you don't have the equipment.

I've actually heard women say that they're insecure about giving blowjobs and handjobs because they're afraid they're no good at it. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a bad blowjob (unless she treats it like a teething ring), but I guess I can understand not knowing that if you don't have the equipment.

Holy jesus, I LOVE pumpkin flavored things! Pumpkin donuts, pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin pancakes… Pumpkin is an entirely underutilized ingredient. And yes, I'm aware that my ravings may be misconstrued as sarcasm, but make no mistake: I am deadly serious about pumpkin.

Holy jesus, I LOVE pumpkin flavored things! Pumpkin donuts, pumpkin ravioli, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin pancakes… Pumpkin is an entirely underutilized ingredient. And yes, I'm aware that my ravings may be misconstrued as sarcasm, but make no mistake: I am deadly serious about pumpkin.