I clicked on the link ready to get pedantic and demand you explain what it would mean to “harness the power of the Oort Cloud,” but then you actually explained it and now I have nothing left to say except that I appreciate the vast increase in astrophysics content on Deadspin.

an excerpt from little-known chaucer work “the roxbury tales”

dang

it’s all good man

I’m mostly just shitposting.

a better option would be expropriating the team and launching the bowlens into the sun

Wow, I had completely missed that Knight was on the Rockets, probably because he’s injured.

Sure, but you still have to win regular season games. Maybe the calculus here is that a thin bench doesn’t matter when you have that kind of firepower in the starting 5, but those guys will have to rest, and if one of them goes down, that really leaves the team threadbare. On the other hand, it’s hard to see this…

this is only funny until it actually happens

Jimmy Butler is great and would probably fit very well on this team, but if they had to trade away Gordon and Tucker to make that happen, is anyone at all left to play on the bench? You can’t exactly run the starters out there for 40 minutes every game and hope to have something left in the tank for the playoffs.

coaching the suns is one of those jobs that no american would do which is why they had to get an immigrant to do it

melo giving up halfway through the play is *chef finger kiss*

they’re called trains, elon should look into them sometime

This seems like one of those “ah, surely they will expect the run here so we will pass instead,” kinds of calls but sometimes the expected move is still the right one.

i think that might be goaltending

I’m not sure what you mean. Presumably the rules should be written in such a way that there’s minimal confusion about the intended result (although, of course, confusion is inevitable). This seems to be written the opposite way.

I just want to point out that the way the rule is phrased is very confusing:

I’m absolutely convinced that these people have brain parasites.

where’s the lie

don’t, actually