Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not sure MJ, for all his undisputed greatness, really deserves a Medal of Freedom. It’s not clear to me that he’s ever actually done anything in the service of that cause.

actually it’s great

a+, great parody

I’m not arguing that; the positional advantage of an elite center/forward outweighs the positional advantage of an elite point guard. All I’m saying is that Chris Paul’s teammates have never been quite as good as Tim Duncan’s.

The teams built around both of those players were better than the Clippers.

Yeah, I mean, put that Clippers team from either 2015 or 2016 in the East, and no way do they not make the ECF. They were better than either of the non-Cleveland finalists.

Albert, this is a good piece, but I think I have to disagree with you in one part:

John Urschel is cool and good and I’m glad he’ll be putting his brain to better use than having it bashed repeatedly against the inside of his skull.

smh at this inaccurate metallurgy content

Very nice writeup but in light of your previous work I think it’s insufficiently pornographic.

Great name, though.

You’re not alone if you felt that a semifinal between Marin Cilic and Sam Querrey was the driest, bitterest fruit the Wimbledon draw could have borne. Neither name really gets the juices flowing. No one wakes up early and perky to watch these two play a game of Serve Chicken until someone balks in the tiebreak. And…

I have a better idea: let’s expropriate the owners and throw them in the salt mines.

Look buddy, you worship in your way and I’ll worship in mine.

Maybe you need to cut off your relatives.

I see at least one other Deadspin reader went to Hebrew school.

Things are going to get really bad when all the livestock die at the US Open and everyone at the Australian Open breaks out in boils.

Yeah, that assessment of the Jazz’s playoff chances strikes me as overly optimistic. I see them and the Clippers falling out of the playoffs with the Nuggets and Wolves moving in.

I mean, if you need a point guard and they’re the only ones available...

But what’s the alternative for Houston? If they run back last year’s team, they’ll maybe make the WCF if the Spurs have injuries? They’re not getting past Golden State as presently constructed, and they’re much too good to bottom out, so they’re doing the only plausible thing which is to trade for a really good player…