She should have taken out his plastic surgeon instead. 

Was that what this gentleman’s face looked like before or after being poisoned?

isn’t this how the zombie apocalypse starts? :D

Are 65 year old men generally considered prime candidates for being astronauts?

Nice try, Gonzales!

Yes!!!! When we were dating my husband was all Brooks Brothers all the time. 10 years later and 46 years old this past Saturday, we were grocery shopping when I looked down and saw something crusty and dried white all over his Birkenstocks (he was wearing socks and cargo shorts with them). I said, “Oh my god what’s…

There are no good photos of her.

“YOU GOT MY WORD THAT, KOM HELL OR FAWKIN’ HIGH WATAH, I’M GONNA GET YOUR FAWKIN’ KID BACK FROM THEM EYETALIAN QUEAHS!”

Tattooine is so f-ing boring.  

Asking in all sincerity: Is it just as wrong if it’s a considerably younger man with an older woman?

Hi

There’s no “the left”, only public corporations enforcing their policies (finally).

“shut up nerd”

OMG this one actually made me LOL:

Why are weddings off limits?  Standing in his own backyard minding his own business wasn’t.

Taking a human life is cool, though. WAY more disrespectful to disrupt a wedding than it is to slay another human being. Why, the officer getting married could have his special day of nuptials marred by the very real fact that he ended another sentient creature’s existence! Marred, I say, marred!

Patrick Swayze: “Wolverines!!”

Car and Driver is about the only car mag I can read anymore. They still have that sense of humor and variety of articles that originally attracted me to them. Plus, they actually review cars I could potentially drive, not just supercars. I hope this isn’t as bad as it sounds.

That...actually doesn’t look all that appetizing. It looks more like whale blubber than a steak.

Ahh, we live in a stupid and cruel country.