“You’ll be fine to start next week. Take two pills and call me in th- actually, give me those, just drink some water and you’ll be fine.”

I’m not a Colts fan, so this isn’t coming from a place of bias. I honestly feel so bad for Andrew Luck. He seems like a genuinely nice guy who has tried hard to be a positive person, a good teammate, and a role model. It sucks seeing this happen to him. Why can’t someone I hate get hurt and then betrayed by his team?!

There’s rich, there’s rich-rich and then there’s “accuse an elite athlete of faking a need for medical attention while consuming a trunkload of pharmaceuticals” rich..

It’s 2017. Of course the guy with a horseshoe up his ass blames Luck.

this guy? The guy who wears a full length men’s fur coat to Eagles games?

This Eskin guy seems like a real jagoff.

For a song called ‘Piano Man’ there sure is a lot of fucking harmonica in it.

- The National Anthem before NFL games

Songs that should never be played again, an incomplete list:

“Flags. I fucking hate flags. You fucking hate flags. Everyone fucking hates flags.”

Find a different song. Any other song, man.

Papa Murphy is real as well, but they do “take and bake” pizza - they put everything together for you, wrap it up in plastic, and you take it home to cook yourself. It’s pretty good, actually, I would rate it just behind Domino’s, which really did turn their shit around a few years ago.

Oh, that’s because it’s been sitting under a heat lamp for days.

Well in that case so is Dalessandro’s which beats all those options

Roxborough?

Every time I eat Sbarro’s, it tastes like it has been sitting under a heat lamp for days, and I question all the choices I made that resulted in Sbarro’s pizza seeming like an acceptable choice of a meal.

It honestly is amazing how Dominoes was able to completely turn themselves around. For the fast chain pizza’s it is by far the best, not sure what the fuck Pizza Hut is doing, but it is a hut of sadness. Little Caesars was the shit when I was a kid and we went to Caesarland. Sbarro gave my fiance diarrhea on a flight…

Papa Murphy’s may sound less Italian, but it’s 100x better. Round Table is awesome.

Every photo of Paxton Lynch looks like a mug shot after a college kegger. I see photos of him and expect to read the phrase “charges dropped.”

Drew, thank you so much for the honesty in this column. Being upfront and honest about the shitty things we’ve done is important. I have a lot of things to atone for, too, and this is inspiration to keep working on being better.