My original comment is the second comment in this whole thread, way up there at the top and it was exactly what I just said. You’re replying to a comment further down in the chain. I never changed my position.

My point was how pervasive it is and I completely agree with being accountable.I have said repeatedly in this thread that I am hoping people use this as a way to start an open honest dialog with their partners.

Well that zero person was right, I am going to agree to disagree and move on.

Her point is that just because a doctor is tall, it doesn’t mean all doctors are tall. I don’t really view what you said as you trying to assert a logical conclusion and I believe that’s the disconnect. I took it to mean you were saying that with the significant number of people on that site, there are probably a lot…

Let’s try to clear this up even if the end result is we agree to disagree. I do not care if I am right or wrong, I am not trying to die on a hill for a quick comment I made and to which you seem to have taken great personal offense.

This is the post in question
“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous…

This is such an important comment, and it covers so much ground.

I think that people who are actually unhappy in their lives become defensive.

I have the deepest sympathy for those in open marriages who respectfully arranged to be discreet. They did not deserve this.

Agreed, completely. I’ve been really surprised by the vehemence over the hack here at Gawker.

The disconnect here is that you’re arguing the point as though the opposition is arguing that cheating is “good” or “ok”...that isn’t the argument at all.

A good analogy would be a closeted homosexual in a heterosexual relationship—in fact, we had a good example of that recently where the overwhelming response is that Gawker had “ruined this guy’s life,” regardless of the fact that he also made the choice to attempt an extramarital affair. Human beings are complicated…

Regardless of what Dan Savage thinks, you are completely missing the point here. The point isn’t that the cheating is political in some way, it’s that most people exist within social constructs that have the potential to make it really difficult to be honest with themselves, let alone those around you. Immediately…

No, people are pressured into thinking that they have to be in monogamous relationships. At least in the U.S. Just because you can sleep around and do whatever you want doesn’t mean there aren’t millions upon millions of people ready to heap scorn on you for doing so. Puritanical views are extremely pervasive in our…

It’s true, a large number of people are perfectly happy in monogamous relationships. A large number of people are also unhappy with monogamous relationships. Humans aren’t inherently monogamous creatures, but we aren’t inherently polyamorous creatures either.

Except for society.. glorifying marriage, condemning cheaters and ‘slut shaming’ are all part of it. Not to mention the social engineering by governments by establishing incentives for marriages. Monogamy is not what we are genetically predisposed or historically inclined to do. Traditional marriage is a woman being…

That’s how I read the post as well, which is why I said I was hoping this situation would open a larger dialog. But man people are defensive. I don’t see gloriaestefanwasright advocating for people to cheat or excusing their behavior.

Right and the anger exists because people are CONSTANTLY pressured into thinking they MUST be monogamous. So much so that they agree to it even when they don’t think they are capable. This is the start - it comes BEFORE the lie.

“Plenty of people are very happy in monogamous relationships”, I think with only 3 zip codes in the entire US not having someone registered, there are lots of people who claim to be happy in monogamous relationships.

I’ve been thinking that it would be great if this opened a greater dialog on monogamy and relationships. I mean how many of these people are Christians who think that marriage is between one man and one woman? I am betting the number is pretty high. Clearly what we say, is not what we do.

Newsflash - people have a really hard time being in long term monogamous relationships and society’s weird, unnecessary and CONSTANT shaking finger makes it harder for people to just be able to admit that to themselves, and find relationships that DO work for them. But SURPRISE when you guilt them into obeying…