I just can’t imagine saying “don’t tell mom, but your dad tried to rape me.” It’s a huge burden. And I can’t imagine the niece isn’t dependent on dad if mom is.

This is why Abby’s advice is not flippant.

I can’t figure out what the LW wants to accomplish. Is she afraid for niece’s safety? Does she want the nirce to know her father is awful? I feel like if she’s not going to tell her sister, she shouldn’t tell her niece. Otherwise she’s putting the niece in a very awkward position.

I think author should tell the wife of the guy who tried to rape her before she tells the attempted rapist’s child. Pretty sure her sister, sharing a home with the attempted rapist, is more at risk than the kid who’s away at college.

It’s really difficult to give advice on this without more information. Depending on the relationship she has with her sister, I would tell the sister and see what she wants to do.

Who is mentioned in the source article!

“The problem isn’t the enjoyment or even use of ideas outside of your natural milieu; the fact that people learn and grow from one another and enjoy each other’s cultures is, to state it plainly, beautiful. But black people have reason to fear that this will turn out to be an…

The problem isn’t the enjoyment or even use of ideas outside of your natural milieu; the fact that people learn and grow from one another and enjoy each other’s cultures is, to state it plainly, beautiful. But black people have reason to fear that this will turn out to be an uneven trade. Some people will benefit from…

There once was a girl from Nantucket
with talent as deep as a bucket.
She tried to “sound black”
and wrote songs like a hack
so they gave her a Grammy when they should have said “Fuck it.”

I am of the belief that it’s not so much that black audiences don’t want white artists exploring a black sound: the issue is that white artists can be bad while employing black style and still be successful.

Either way, rape or fraud, it’s total deception and completely disgusting. I hope this guy gets a big punishment. He lived in my college town, Olympia WA, and had a shit reputation for being a scum bag. I used to feel sorry for him because all of the rrriot girls there hated him. Now I’m seeing there was big truth to…

I think the answer is absolutely yes. If a creep lies and lures a woman under false pretenses in order to have sex with her and she consents because she thinks it’s an audition, yes yes yes that is rape and he is a rapist.

Yeah I was wrong about Washington law, and I agree with you. You make a good point about semantics and the term sexual predator. I do think his actions count as rape, but the barriers to recognizing that (publicly and legally) are, a) consent is typically defined in black and white terms, and b) the stigma and…

Informed consent is the thing you seem to keep missing.

They thought that they were having sex with an auditioner, which he also was not. Rape by deception.

Dishonesty definitely makes for rape. Imagine for a moment: if a woman ‘consents’ to sex with her husband’s twin brother, who tricks her into thinking that he’s her spouse — that’s rape by deception, no?

Nope. He just gave it to them. He told them it would relax them. Then they took them and passed out and he raped them.

Exactly how my mind is tracking on this too.

They should be prosecuted as rape (itself a violent crime) + some of other assault charge (to account for choking, hitting, threats of violence with a weapon, etc.). Having degrees like “kind of rape” and “legitimate rape” contributes to this idea so may people have that it’s not “really” rape unless there’s a gun…

Apparently there is this idea that raping someone isn’t inherently violent in itself. Like a hard dick jammed inside someone repeatedly against their will somehow isn’t violent? Mind boggling.