This. When their eyes go dead, they are no longer the person you know. An x of mine taught me this. Another good warning sign is what I call the joker Smile. One of the most unsettling things I've ever seen

I’m glad that you got through it.

Yes. Thank you, but it’s cool, all’s well - long time ago.

I would have picked Tom Hanks as the last celebrity person to commit DV.

I used to believe in that. Not anymore.

Um, no. Kate Moss? Also public relations crafted personas and actual people are very different things. He’s just a man, after all.

YOU ALL GOT YOUR GD DIRT BAG

Jesus, especially with skepticism about the bruise, TMZ. LOlz. Women are always lying about getting beaten, I guess?

Not everyone can pull it off.

Update on the article, Amber heard has shown up to court for a restraining order.

Well, I have failed at finding an appropriate gif, but Sylvia’s line comes to mind: “Dr. Sylvester says a man like Stephen can’t accept that what he feels for you is anything other than love. So he has to marry you in order to give the relationship dignity and importance.”

No, they all think they’re special. They think it’ll be different for them. Hubris is a powerful drug.

You’re not kidding. Mr. Werner is a keeper because he gets up a few minutes before me every morning to check my tire pressure and oil. I don’t need a damned island. (I could use a less shitty car, though.)

A midlife crisis is about a so much more than a younger woman and a sports car although those are often the obvious symptoms.

Possibly. But Depp and Heard dated for two years (and knew each other for twice as long) before they got married. Depp’s reputation for substance abuse goes back to his Viper Room ownership days. Maybe I have too much firsthand experience with addicts to have a lot of sympathy for anyone expressing surprise that…

Generally, people who make grand, expensive gestures are the worst at actually doing the hard, unglamorous work of making a relationship work.

Ok serious question!

You would think that middle aged men with teenage children and middle aged partners with whom they were in decades-long relationships would stop marrying very young sexy women in the middle of their midlife crises. It’s so cliche that I can’t even wrap my brain around how anyone could be so stupid. This relationship…

As part of the settlement Amber gets half of Johnny Depp's clothes. The ensuing fire halves the world's volume of fleas and Gonorrhea.

This is literally the only time I have liked this GIF.