Tales of Ordinary Muppetness.

I'd like to see Fozzie in a hard drinking, Bukowski-esque detective role.

That depends; were you in Boulder or Pueblo?

You best just stay the hell outta Dove Creek, you hear?

It's all fun and games pretending you're Chewbacca, until you have to take a dump and suddenly realize what "shitlocks" are. They are not irie, mon.

Or comprehensive health care!

If that Starbucks was in central Florida, then I've been there…and that barista was not wearing a mask.

As Dostoevsky said, "The truth is hardly ever amusing. Unless the truth is that you love Chewbacca, and you have a Chewbacca mask. Then the truth is horribly, horribly amusing."

I'd just give that other guy the 'ol Dim Mak. Game over, brah.

Is that really so strange?

It wasn't so bad, according to the lyrics; The molestation was only attempted, and a soda was actually procured. Not a bad evening for the protagonist, overall.

It's A.A. Dowd on his day off.

I got so addicted to laughing at that show that it was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Oops. First publication was '96. In the Universtiy of CO journal, 'Tip 'o the Tongue.'

Here you go; http://www.disobey.com/dete…

While I understand if people are incredulous…NBC ripped off a short story I wrote in college to start this Jeopardy bit. It was published on a site called disobey.com, and was called "What is Pussy Galore, Alex". I'm pretty sure you can still find it, even though it was first published in '98. I wrote the network in…

TURN DOWN THE SUCK!

Their music was very beige.

Oi vey…You and his father BOTH.

With the grease content of the city, it would be a truly terrifying prospect if one of those fires went full O'Leary in this day and age. You couldn't throw water on it, and I don't know what the state of Illinois' baking soda stockpiles are looking like, but I'm pretty sure we can guess that they aren't up to snuff.…