Our country is terrible right now. The racism, the meanness and foolishness of our government, the caging of children, all the mass shootings. Plus it’s August and we’re all melting. Not to mention the climate. Epstein. Weinstein. Endangered species. It’s awful out there and this news fits right in. I'm taking the…

I hope it doesn’t crash on some faraway beach.

Not sure, but this is definitely “after” science. 

I’m not surprised. I wonder if it’s green?

Health is a matter of luck, but there are aspects of health that a team can control.

And what the fuck was the lady in the light blue shirt doing trying to slap at the ball?  Borderline fan interference (and I’m a Warriors fan.)  I’m guessing the douchebag who was ejected was with her, and misguidedly thought he had to act like a tough guy to defend her honor or something. 

Good thing you aren’t a fucking loser or this comment would look even worse than it already does.

That’s true.  Most other teams don’t have the best shooter on the planet and two other all-starts suiting up for them.

Fuckin’ herbs.

Can we stop pretending that even with the injuries, a team that features Steph Curry, Draymond Green, and Boogie Cousins is not an underdog? I had an honest to God stroke when someone on the telecast that this team would have missed the playoffs and I am sure every member of ESPN must have thrown out their backs from…

Christ almighty, you’re such a transparently disingenuous liar.

Unfortunately for the trolls, Captain Marvel is dedicated to a fallen airman, so hating the movie means they hate the troops. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them.

Look, you’re never going to convince people like this that a fetus isn’t a fully developed person who can feed themselves and get a job in 2 months if only their mamma didn’t execute them.

Pregnancy is a potential consequence of sex. If a man isn’t prepared to accept that his sexual partner may choose an abortion, he shouldn’t have sex.

I’m such a Deadspin fanboy that I hate Barstool Sports despite the fact that I’ve never visited their site.

Color me shocked - who knew that eating shit is low-carb enough for Atkins?

That has to be the gut punch for every Sens fan, how in this death march of a season, they don’t even have the balm of a high draft pick to look forward to. Normally, they could be focusing on June after every loss, scouring the draft prognosticators every article, banking on a brighter future with a Kaapo Kakko or a…

There’s no way Ottawa can screw up an awesome Swedish defenseman, right?

Whatever you think of his take, you have to acknowledge that Bill Simmons’s history definitely gives him a position to criticize a person for trying to lure talent away from another organization to join his own.