Too busy watching Twilight. That was his first mistake, it’s a horrible movie.

Faith Christian administrative leader is truly a real Dick...

Did he replace his divots?

Bay of Pigs in a blanket?

Top it off with “Magic Bullet night” and a convertible Lincoln Continental give away.

If the Braves had never left Buffalo they could get in on this action too. William McKinley gut shot night, sounds awesome!

Even the name Joliet sound terrible.

Or maybe Richie “The Baumer” Tenenbaum?

It’s nothing a bigger flag can’t fix.

...simply reflects our obligation to ensure the health and safety of our players.

Is Kirk Ferentz a Hindu?

He’s probably an Illinois Nazi.

Actually against Baylor, but whatever.

Woo pig sooie sue me!

Fuck you George Brett! Please share more George Brett horror stories if you have them!!

The ball is in your court Stan Kroenke.

That only applies if you say Ann Coulter three times.

Jesus Seattle, just change your name to the 12's and be done with it!!