What?

Ouch. If I had a daughter, is there a way I could ho e school her for college?

Wait, Googly now intimates they are trying to adopt? With an acknowledged vicious pit pull? Let me excuse myself while I clear my apparently fogged reality glasses.

Oh let’s! A field trip.

Or maybe they've run out of ways to deal with the dog .

Dayum! Not exactly how I pictured my non sexual crush’s wife to be, more like my favorite-conspiratorial-summer-camp-bunkmate-who-always-had-one-last-hilarious-semi secret - to whisper to me before I nod off wife person. Too many words, I know. Benn on the phone with Comcast for three hours now.

Stars to the stars power.

First read this as Celebrity Rabbit™, which could be a whole other thing.

Um, multistar, especially if I can negative star lame ass posts, as of in a perfect lame ass universe. HElloo out there??? Feeling really lonely and neglected by the universe today, the internet included.

I know, at first I thought it was just the font throwing unintentional vibes at me, but, no, it is not of the same species whatsoever. Insert sad face emoticon, if I were emoticon inclined. This is from a person whose formative experiences of the world were from horrible Midwest chain restaurants, when they would let…

Look. As a transplanted Northerner living in the south for twenty years now, let me reveal a great big Harry Potter secret... Red velvet isn’t a flavor, it is a food dye color that goes great with a creamy frosting. I welcome Northerners, or Southeners, to disagree. Wtf, I was an engineering major. Salt to the wound,…

Wait, new here. Why can't I multistar if I am judicicious in my stars? (Except tonight, when I star all but cats, as I am a dog person.

Two more words: Elvis Presley.

Having my tween and teen sons look at this, after a lecture about boundaries, respect, and no means no.

Can anyone tell me where the Divine Michelle found that perfect dress?

And what did zero say to eight?