Serie A's List of Banned Words:

Spaz, Downy, Midget, Cripple, Retard, Handicapped

Giada At Home

I'm from Texas. We only care about ourselves, and we have a hard time even admitting that Alaska is bigger.

The last time A-Rod was seen spitting his seed at a dog was during his stint with Madonna.

I'd guess that the median Deadspin commenter is a 34-year-old white male with middle-to-high income but also above-average alcohol consumption. So we're taking about a remaining live expectancy of 47 years, give or take. My best guess is that you'll die in 2060, perhaps just a few days before Sasha Obama wins her…

Doesn't work in a single lane. For example, speed limit on a stretch of my neighborhood changes from 40 down to 35. At that point, everyone is typically doing 50-55 through a densely populated area with a dangerous curve...I do 40 in the 35 and people are on my ass the entire way.

What an ass.

Also, shame on her for falling asleep during the game like that.

My boyfriend always teases me because I use the word "Republican" like an atrocious and profane insult. BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHY. OH MY GOD.

The assistant groundskeeper was thrown off by the eyes of Dr. T.J. Eckleburg.

And those footprints in the sand, when there was only one set of footprints? That's when I carried you. Fireman style, because you were drunk.

+1

Wendy Peffercorn today, for comparison:

Nobody is going to riot. This is America. We don't riot or protest. Unless the tv or air conditioner is broken.

An SUV, doesn't matter which one

for '13th Amendment Night' the Marlins will place a player on waivers.

The face of an entitled brat who has likely never been told no before in her life.