They can have Price; they blow-up their payroll AND get someone with a horrible playoff record? Enjoy him Sawx fans!

My girlfriend refuses to put on her seat belt when she’s driving, which baffles my mind, but she is nice enough to put it on when she’s the passenger.

I thought it was just an ad paid for by the republican party.

Considering the “jokes” my girlfriend has been making lately, that notebook looks like a great gift for her.

Its like I tell people when they post that picture on Facebook about football players making more than people who defend our country: if you’re not willing to stop watching, nothing is ever going to change.

What’s the draw of a game that triggers your fight-or-flight instinct?! If I want an adrenaline spike that gets my heart racing and speeds up my breathing, I’ll just play “Street Fighter II” on my virtual console; and I won’t get the crap scared out of me.

This reminds me of when I used to see ads for the PS Vita, how you could be playing a game on the Playstation and switch it over to the Vita to take it on the go.

And that is why they lost the second game of their double-header.

Pink Ladies!

I started doing this at work; Coat a large coffee mug with a thin layer of olive oil, beat the egg in the mug, add some salt and pepper, nuke, beat again, nuke just a bit longer, et voila!

I couldn’t make it through the first hour of “Garden State;” and I’m the guy who sat through Josh Radnor’s movie!

This past weekend, my new significant other just invited me to spend the night. After sexy time, I was nodding off as we cuddled, and my body took that as a signal to get comfortable, and I ripped a loud one. Luckily, it didn’t stink, but it brought me right back in to wakefulness, and I sheepishly looked over at her…

#FinSoup

“Damn it! How many times have I told you not to make the password, ‘password?!?!?’”

What did the Chili Peppers ever do to you...apart from their last few albums?

I hate that this dickweed represents the congressional district I live in.

Thank Christ I never saw that commercial.

My buddy listens to Cowherd on the radio, and rebukes my criticism of it by saying that the reason ESPN has him on the air is to say stupid, offensive things, and that garners ratings.

I know a woman in her 50’s that is seeing a man in his 30’s.

Hold out hope; you’ll meet a non-mouth breather one day.