Broom versus Beverage Bucket is literally the only sport that could ever entice me to watch the Olympics.

>> “Big dirty forest rats,”

Tuna is not cheap. It seems cheap because one buys a small can which is usually mostly water or oil. If you measured out the actual tuna per pound, it’s the same or more than other expensive meats and fishes.

>> That Fucking Pool In Rio

The weights are entirely superfluous to this incident.

“The doctors think it might have something to do with my lifting a heavy weight over my head.”

Oh, hey! That does look like a U. Good job, Star Wars.

Holy shit, how I hate Star Wars.

I am like the dumbest, goddamn crack addict with this incredibly shoddy, stupid, and embarrassing series. I’ve seen every movie and if they make twelve more, I’ll see them too. Thing is, I don’t think I’ve enjoyed any of them. What is my problem?

Hey! That “fat guy” is the almost-legendary Rich Evans.

“Oh my God. I’m back. I’m home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it. You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”

My money’s on Neelix.

It’s a fair topic.

I feel like your mom’s text is a 100% suitable substitute for ever seeing this film. Thanks.

Hotter take: Pokemon itself has always been an ass game.

>> I’m not sure why Ayers chose to make the phone so integral to the plot

A moment of thought is all the sport of archery is worth.

Having said that, I can fully understand why you, having been tasked with coming up with something — ANYTHING — to write about the incredibly dull Olympics would fall back to wardrobe commentary.

Why are half-bras on doughy, middle-aged dudes dope?

By the way, I can easily top this...