July 18, 2017: The day the singularity died in a DC mall wishing pond.

9:03 AM - Hello, world!
9:04 AM - Oh, shit. I work in a mall.
9:05 AM - Goodbye, world.

"No-bo-dy-move. Eh-ver-y-one-is-a-sus-pect."

There's your Twin Peaks spin-off right there.

DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL!!!

>> Get a refresher below.

Disney Marvel Henson's Kermit: Civil War.

One aside regarding Lynch's ability to take all levels of actors, even bad actors and get the best results… himself, for example. Some directors who insist on appearing in their films are always awkward, jarring, and embarrassing (Tarantino is the worst offender IMO). But Lynch took his own awkward, jarring,…

Also, good luck banning "ping pong" on WeChat, PRC.

The bear is the Kardashians.

David Lynch is the anti-George Lucas.

I've seen so much Lynch for so damn long that I only laugh at the misery and horror. It's all so cartoonish. Very soap opera-y. Reminds me of John Waters. When Willem Dafoe got the top of his head blown off in Wild At Heart, I howled with laughter in the theater and people looked at me like I was a mad person.

Dumbland! Now there's a deep cut. I bet 95% of Lynch fans have not seen it. It's also a foundational relic of early web entertainment.

If Candie had acted alone, I'd say she was damaged in some way. But the other two girls were exhibiting the exact same otherworldly ennui as if they were all channeling some distant magic. They all seemed oddly detached, in a strange knowing way. As if they were playing with the brothers. Like a cat plays with a… oh,…

Well, this is David Lynch, and this is the AV Club, and this is the Internet, so the answer is probably "and how!"

My go-to joke name for Xi Jinping is Xi Jinpingpong.

And oompa-loompas.

Yeah, if they're going to ban pooh in China, it should be because of its use as an unexpected additive in so many local restaurants.

"Run Silent, Run Drapes."

Cowboy Junkies too and others I can't remember. You know… all those festivals and such.