Boomer Esiason

Max was actually third on Mark and Priscilla’s list of names for their daughter, behind Larry and Jonathan.

You know that if someone fronts on you you don’t have to fight, right? And blasting along the Ben Franklin at the speed of sound is definitely asshole behavior?

i don’t party homie. it’s all backgammon and wittgenstein for this guy

man, where’d you go to college

Man, the lengths people will go to to defend Jahlil. Yeah, he’s 19, but he’s been in loads of actual, douchebaggy trouble in a very small timeframe. All the “HOW CAN YOU JUDGE HIM HE’S JUST A BABY” stuff is so paternalistic. I mean... when I was 19 I was sobbing when I got a 20-over speeding ticket because it cost me…

LET THE DEADSPIN 2016 WARRIORS DICK SUCKING TOUR CONTINUE UNABATED

Time for a new game: What other kind-of-emotional sports moments would make Tom Ley cry?

No way Jordan is Blade.

“Thanks Jorgy”

Drew - you actually made two gratuitous Simpsons quotes this week.

it’s like the artist was only allowed to look at the doctor’s clothes and hair before drawing him

And lo, no one ever told Drew that the Emmitt Smith thing was uncomfortably racisty.

...simmons?

...I feel like I’m the only one who doesn’t think Idris would be a perfect Bond. He’s way, way too physically powerful. Built like a linebacker. 6’ 3”. Can’t really see him delivering one-liners. Gimme Chiwetel Ejiofor or Damian Lewis, please. I really think they fit the profile

See... it’s the crowds at these things that get to me. Sanctimonious sword fighting neckbeards, like the dramatically unathletic dude in high school who constantly boasted about his fencing club wins.

Artist’s rendition of Leslie Horn