Even the law is not always written in that way, thankfully, but when we speak less formally, it makes even less sense to say that. Someone can legitimately speak of being raped after a sexual assault even if he or she was never penetrated.

Right. I don’t mean to be harsh or critical, but I think you’re kidding yourself there.

I mean I’ve been in that situation, with the dinner. Except it never got that far, because — since this is, you know, food I’ll put in my own body, I ask him what he’s making, so that if he’s going to cook for both of us, he makes…

Hey, you didn’t hurt anyone else; why judge? But if it happens again? Some things you can do without guilt or shame:

Say no thank you. No matter how many months or years it’s been.

Because you’re not his sex mommy. Just like my depressed husband wasn’t my sex daddy. If you’re severely depressed, and you just don’t want…

Text her back and say, “I’m adopted.”

This makes me abnormally happy.

that’s OK, i think it’s really unfair the pressure we (all of us, men and women) pile on women to reproduce to “prove” their true womanhood. we’re never allowed to just be people, our ultimate goal has to be to become moms or there’s something wrong with us. i’ve been fighting against that pressure since i was little…

yeah i can’t imagine that because it takes little-to-no effort on my part to orgasm from penetrative sex that i want. i guess i’m just weird or hyperorgasmic or something because i can’t wrap my mind around the “maintenance sex” and orgasm-faking phenom.

“Why do you keep talking about men as rapists? I’m saying I have dated girls that would grab at my junk, take my clothes off, rub their tits in my face, etc. even while I say no or push them off. Isn’t that rape according to you? If so then basically everyone is a rapist, men and women. The definition of the word has…

Have you ever been a woman in that situation with a person 2-3 x your size?

Yea I told my husband this that women get ‘raped’ all the time but they don’t know and they don’t call the cops....

Whether or not someone calls an encounter rape is not relevant to whether or not it actually IS rape. If someone says a sexual encounter was bad, describe it as unwanted and coerced, it is rape. Doesn’t mean they need to use the word rape. The word UNWANTED makes that pretty clear.

That’s not what the end of the article meant.

i’m so sorry that happened to you. i think they do that so they can justify to themselves afterwords that if you had an orgasm then them pressuring you to have sex was OK. it’s part of a rapist’s mental gymnastics that they do to be able to live with themselves, otherwise they would have to contemplate what garbage…

i really can’t imagine choosing to have sex that doesn’t involve an orgasm (a real one) for me. i just fail to see the point of it. there are other ways to maintain intimacy that don’t involve me having to fake an orgasm for the sake of someone else’s fragile ego. i know this is normal for many people but i don’t…

Question answered... *sigh*

i feel sorry for people who have marriages that include “obligatory sex”. i would never have sex with anyone for giving THEM pleasure when i didn’t feel like having sex myself. i want to SHARE pleasure with my boyfriend/husband, i don’t want to just give him pleasure and neglect my own. that would be gross and like…

The whole idea of maintenance sex needs to go away.

Men are shitty. And tech/nerd dudes are extra shitty.

You have some deeply fucked-up ideas.

I’ve been both married and long-partnered. And the idea that the other person is there as a fucking instrument for your use, and has some responsibility to make sure you get off as you desire, is just - wrong. It’s just wrong.

If you’re married (or not married) and you don’t want…

Wow there are a lot of creepy and borderline rape-apologetic comments on this post already. Is Gizmodo’s audience really that horrible?