I just keep my $200ks in little wads tucked into the pockets of my back-of-the-closet/don’t-know-when-I’ll-wear-these-again tuxedos for safe keeping.

“In fact, some questioned the veteran photographer’s ability to light brown skin—a suggestion not only insulting to Leibowitz, but also to the aesthetic she has so deliberately developed and diplomatically adhered to throughout her now 50-year career.”

I’m not hating that combination.

There’s an edit of this movie poster going around Reddit with Leo’s head replaced by Bojack’s, and Brad’s by Mr. Peanutbutter.  Brad makes an extremely convincing Mr. Peanutbutter. 

They want to believe in the ‘Magic Negro’ myth so bad...

Its just another iteration of the magical negro syndrome. Obama and by extension Black people cannot cure racism. That is something white people need to do. And since its on them to do the right thing, racism will be here until the Sun dies.

Millenials Don’t Vote

This is the best description of Tavis Smiley... ever!

They say we have to work twice as hard to get half as much. Well, Obama would’ve had to work 100x as hard to overcome 400 years of white supremacy. 8 years x 100 is 800 years. The math checks out!

Every time I ask someone what more was Obama was supposed to do for the black community, I either hear crickets or things that only a dictator or king would do. It just proves that a lot of fucking people don’t understand what the president can and cannot do.

I didn’t express this properly in my original comment, but I totally get it skeeving you out. I personally can’t abide the “cheese” that goes on cheesy nachos/hot dogs/etc.—it comes from a can bigger than my head and smells...so bad. And something in me totally rejects all things Burger King. I think it’s maybe like…

Are you secretly my husband? Because we were JUST having this conversation this weekend (after getting cut off by someone). You can’t be a teacher or a lawyer without at least continuing education (ignoring even more important, life-saving jobs like nurses, doctors, firefighters, etc). I couldn’t get a job based on my…

I think the old man might have been trying to take out the hot sauce guy. Who slams their foot down on the accelerator pedal when reversing unless they’re running from the cops? Grandpa’s a psychopath who misjudged his victim’s lust for spice.

You are invited to zero of my upcoming parties. Also:

Sorry to tell you, but...a lot of fast food meat is prepared this way. When I worked at Disney World, we used boiling vats that two people could have comfortably stood inside for this purpose. You get to wear these massive rubber gloves that go up to your shoulder so you can stick your hand in and dig around for the…

Have they changed the state nickname from “America’s Wang”?

“The driver of the SUV was a 77-year-old man who thought the vehicle was in reverse, when he hit the accelerator and was in drive instead.”

Ah, it was that Diablo sauce compelling the man...

The only time I got true food poisoning, the onset was within a couple hours. That was from eating something tainted at a salad bar. Eating actually poisonous food, which seems like a high probability here, can straight-up kill you in those few hours.