I’d rather have one of those giant safety pins they use to keep their aprons together at In-N-Out. Man, those things are so awesome!

Wait??? At work we accidentally ordered a case of paper clips instead of a box of paper clips last year.!.!.! we rich now? For real? We rich?

“¡jajajajaja!”

“Aspirational Shopper” - is that an industry term? Because that really explains why people buy stupid shit like Ferrari apparel. Nothing says “I don’t own a Ferrari” quite like an obnoxious prancing arabian polo shirt.

I think you mean Prader. Speaking for myself, I always go with Dolce Banana or Gukki.

Damn it! I read panda first and then saw that it said Prada. I did find these after a quick Google though:

Mines a Prado... only $50.

I actually bought one for my asshole brother for Christmas when he was making a boatload of money and was acting like a pretentious asshole.

Why would someone who’s set out to spend more than 100x the normal price of a paperclip cheap out and get the $150 version? That’s the most confusing part of this story to me.

This clip is nice, but I prefer a handbag.

These Kinja Deals are really getting out of hand

LOL no mames guey :]

I’d rather use nipple clamps to keep my documents in order.

Ok I need to know the specifics on this.

Gross. Gross. Gross. But I’m really stuck at how this can’t be a health and safety violation. Does anyone have a theory? Even with the 80 proof mandate. Also, I’m an alcoholic in recovery and have been known to drink a lot. A lot a lot. But how drunk do you have to be to drink this thing?

We’ve given you canuks enough material to last 10 decades we can make jokes about a toe.

You need a toe? Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o’clock this afternoon.... With nail polish.

I got my big toenail removed a few weeks ago to nip a toe fungus that had gotten out of control. If anyone would like to see a picture, I can promise it’s less gross than that toe pic up there.