Too soon?

Truly, this is special corn indeed.

Sometimes life puts a speed bump in your path. Occasionally, hitting that speed bump causes your airbag to deploy, sending metal shrapnel into your face and neck, resulting in your slow and painful death via exanguination and asphyxiation on your own blood. What are you gonna do?

#NotAllCorvettes

Don’t touch my fucking car with your car.

LOL. Not always. In reality some care, some don’t. You can’t, based on gross generalization, that your car is safe from door dings by always parking next to a more expensive car. C’mon, that is just silly.

I usually try and park next to a nicer car than mine because he probably wont ding me. I’ll be avoiding Teslas from now on!

“Going to have to pay for cars”

I had hope that someone woul sink so low.

This is a damn hipster problem. Wear those tight ass pants and kill your phone. Come over to the magical world of cargo shorts. I have room for my phone, a fax machine, a side of beef, a wallet, and interestingly enough, spare cargo shorts.

I think god loves us a latte but sometimes he has to espresso his anger with us.

This was part of God’s grande plan.

I guess God was just venti his anger!

High art.

“The truth hurts, doesn’t it, Hapsburg? Oh sure, maybe not as much as landing on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts!”- Lt. Frank Drebin

He should sell the trailer and use the money to install a nice sculpture:

His highest marks came from the German judge, who described the dive’s entry as “gut.”

Personally, I found his tribute to Flight 370 incredibly touching.

I was just thinking that. Maybe they forgot to warn the passengers? Or warned them too late? I don’t know anything about flying but I imagine the sky like the ocean. Certain currents (air) are pretty common in certain areas. And also flight paths are like streets where different planes fly the same paths. I would…