In Alaska they call this "campaigning".

SHIT. Shit, this is getting to me. A good, honest speech. Sincere. No bullshit histrionics. I played all the sports as a kid. I was crazy competitive and played relatively high levels of soccer and baseball, and really, 99% of the adults associated with the stuff are just nuts. The coaches, the refs, my dad, the other…

"you had ESPN jumpin"

As someone who played the game for a long time, I can remember a lot of speeches from my dad (and coach) similar to this one. Sometimes it feels like so much more than a game. Respect.

MCCONAUGHEY F-PACK INVENTORY MANIFEST

Coincidental minors. Perry 2:00 for diving; Nantucket Sound 2:00 for holding

He should have just donated the $100.

You call him an Idiot, but he was immediately signed by DC United after the game.

"There are reasons why white gun's rights activists can walk into a Chipotle restaurant with assault rifles and be seen as gauche nuisances while unarmed black men are killed for reaching for their wallets or cell phones, or carrying children's toys."

Toyota is the perfect sponsor for Red Zone offense, because no matter what you try, they're unstoppable.

It's gonna be pretty dope when people post this to Facebook in 3 months like they just found it.

It is good that you feel this comfortable being so wrong in public.

And thus why this is a terrible format for an all-star game. They should just play east v. west and jog around for 90 minutes. To hell with these precious Europeans.

Coors Banquet....

Perhaps people don't get it, but this is just preseason pro soccer. Not at all different from pre-season NFL or spring training. He's calling it fake soccer because you won't see half the stars, the rest of the players don't care about the results and the only ones trying are those gunning for a roster spot.

This site really confuses me about which soccer I'm allowed to enjoy.

We never would've had this without our fake summer soccer:

Goodell: [loads Deadspin.com]

Linklater is a goddamn master. Nearly every single movie he puts out is just pure gold.