No you won't. It's over. I'm sorry.

This is what happens when you play a wide open game, and you finally face a team that can pick apart your midfield, and pass circles around you. Brazil didn't look good this tournament, and they finally met a team in Germany, who could exploit that. And Germany exploited it in the harshest way possible.

Rage sounds the same in any language. Except German, then everything sounds like rage.

Have they considered working from home with Google?

Yeah, I'd definitely watch a lot more soccer if it looked as pretty as this.

So what?

"I think 2.5 billion people watching on TV saw this was not a penalty. This was ridiculous and if we continue in this way we will have a circus."

They're trying to convince you that Americans have only one prefered team that's not Mexico.

God bless the United States Mutant Ninja Turtles and all who sail in her!

Because not everything is willing sacrifice thoroughness to accommodate your attention span.

Describing cheesesteaks as "greasy missiles" is slanderously biased journalism. Would you call pizzas "sebaceous piecharts" or hamburgers "bovine slurrycakes"?

Three workers died during construction of Arena Corinthians,

At least the "new American dream" is more achievable.

Catches foul ball...BRASS BONANZA!

I used to chase painkillers with vodka in college, and I didn't even play sports.

WHOA JIM ROME IS A TOTAL DOUCHE BAG STOP THE PRESSES AND SEND OUT SOME TEXT ALERTS WE'RE GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT THIS IS NEWS NOBODY WILL SEE COMING FUCK MY KID'S BIRTHDAY PARTY