The first person that says that this joke is played out will get punched in the kidney.

I attempted to heel-toe in my flip flops, the result was fail and possible death

Is it weird that I want that car?

99% of all racecar engineering is designing things in a way that the rulebook hasn’t yet explicitly prohibited.

It would look great next to my NA Miata because Miata is the peak of cars. No discussions about it.

“I will totally buy one.” -Every Jalopnik Focus RS fan a month ago.

If I’m stealing, it’s thin mints

Are you wallowing in your own self-loathing? Because if you’re not you’re doing it wrong.

- Friday night
- Alone
- and now listening to Brand New

Shit, am I back in high school?

Not going to ruin my day, I’m an attorney. I literally spend my days handling these kinds of things. Well... I don’t do personal injury, I do business and tax, but still. The satisfaction would far outweigh the hassle.

What do you do when your Aston breaks down and you don’t get a loaner from the dealership?

This bad boy. A girl I knew in college needed me to help her with something on her car(so long ago I don’t even know what I did, this was around the early 2000s) but my reward was this... thing. At the time, I had a 97 Mitsu Galant that I entered in shows:

I may not agree with your decision to drive a golden dildo, but I will defend your right to do so.

I saw a BMW with its turn signal on once.

Proposing to my gf of 5 yrs today. Got about 40ppl coming by and no one knows it but me (duh).

I’ve been a #24 fan for as long as I’ve cared about NASCAR. I think I speak for most of us by saying that just having him in that last race fighting for the crown is one hell of an ending for his career. Him going out on top would just be icing on the cake.

Wh.... Why does that work? WHY DO I WANT ONE.