None of those stocks pays dividends. Good luck with that Series 7 exam!

it’s not 600k, its probably more like 300-350

leaving your bedroom, i suspect.

i like you steph, a lot, which is why i’m letting you know its patronus - the number five is her patronus.

When I was 19 I got two STDs in one week. Where is my parade?

Why does she even want visitation? She clearly doesn’t give a fuck about the child as evidenced by this case; why does she want to see him?

Personally I’m tired of people attacking interracial relationships. I hated when Jill Scott did it several years ago and I hate it now. Because underneath the rant about interracial relationships is the hatred of biracial people. We get it, you don’t think we should exist.

And by earning white love, the Asian man gains acceptance in a society that has thwarted them from the very beginning.

Man I miss Parks & Rec so freaking much it hurts. It’s one of those really rare shows where it actually made me a better person, if that makes sense.

The latest from Nick Offerman was this Father’s Day-themed Lagavulin commercial he made with his dad, it’s so cute:

A little horse is NOT a pony.

Liberals can’t even shoot straight.

“As far as the people that were injured, it’s an absolute shame,’’ she continued. “You just want them to recover. Fortunately, the guy was a really bad shot. Liberals can’t even shoot straight.”

Yes that is usually what happens when you’re pregnant with twins, though occasionally they’ll eat their way out of the mother and declare war on humanity as well.

It’s ok, George Michael. Your uncle has some illusions up his sleeve to keep pop-pop out of prison. Despite the light treason.

Does Barron’s t-shirt indicate he has been offered a position as advisor?

Oh fuck this Mike Pence wannabe; there’s literally ONE place in all of Missouri providing abortion assistance. I can’t wait to get out of this fucking state.

Chris Evans made me cry in Gifted and he saved cats so I will love him forever.

A female is a Peahen.

I respectfully disagree. School is a job—perhaps a means to an end, but a job nonetheless—and part of my responsibility as a teacher is to help my students understand that they must treat different situations differently. Wear whatever you want when you’re hanging out with your friends. But, when you’re in the…