I like Dax and Kristen, though. :( Mostly because they are my hometown couple so you are kinda required to root for them. But also because at least Kristen seems normal(ish) and not a dick?

Anyone who is appalled by the tone of this email is adorably inexperienced when it comes to receiving emails from the executive leadership down to middle management and below. The genre is always self-congratulatory and filled with ‘team wins’ that mean nothing to the recipients, but the execs feel like ‘sharing the…

If you’re going to spend that much money on a ridiculous college election, at least pay someone to light your face properly when photographing you. Does McIntosh really have NO friends who are photography majors?

It is clear that Vice President of marketing and communications Amy Smith is more than qualified for this position and deserves a raise. The shade was most glorious (emphasis mine)

SIX WHOLE DOLLARS FOR BUTTER LETTUCE?!????

I just remember when they guest starred on The League and was like noooo don’t let little Chalupa Batman around their unvaccinated child.

YYUUGGGEEEEEEEEEE they are just a bunch of asswhipes

Extra star for my new favorite Twitler euphemism: “Cockwomble”.

-This food is vegetarian.

That looks like a crockpot dish that you forgot to put away last night and is now developing a complex bacterial civilization on top.

ANGELA: “And THEN this motherfucker Trump said...”

He LITERALLY could not look her in the eye. Or even in the face. He cannot be around women he doesn’t view as sexual objects - which goes along way to explaining KAC’s hair.

At least we know that Donald Trump hates women more than he loves powerful Germans.

Now that President Obama has moved on, it’s actually nice to see the new leader of the free world sitting in the Oval Office, and also Donald Trump.

WHAT

THROW IT IN THE BIN, IAN!

Toksvig is a superb choice... BUT THE DAMAGE IS DONE, LOVE PRODUCTIONS! YOU’VE SHAT IN THE CAKE! THIS IS A SHIT-CAKE!

Wait a damn minute!

Why the fuck would you WANT to neutralize your stomach acid?! I need that shit to digest my food!!!