roguelemming, Aubrey, Anna, and I are all besties. We’re like The Golden Girls minus having a mother-daughter pair. We have wicker furniture and wear flowy pants while we eat cheesecake.

As her best friend, I’ve known this for weeks, obviously. I’m just glad she’s sharing with all of you.

There has to be a word for unfollowing people but occasionally looking at their page just to feel angry. Masochism?

I’m roundly mocking her because she’s dumb. She just happens to be a teen mom and a porn star.

She probably thinks that shadowing a plastic surgeon this summer will lead to one of them doctor internships.

I figured he might be re-enacting Point Break. So, we’re on the same wavelength.

the party favors he was carrying included the .38-caliber revolver, a latex mask, a map showing Florida and Cuba, five ounces of marijuana, a valid passport, a fake Texas ID card, and $45,000. He also had a package slip for a package that, when seized, contained another $117,000.

I don’t blame Big Sean. Bieber stank is toxic, takes weeks to wear off, and transfers easily to others. At least that’s what I imagine.

I agree with Dress Barn. Some of their stuff can be a little senior citizen, but they have some great styles.

I saw a cute pair of brightly colored jeans a few months ago, and I was excited to branch out. Wouldn’t you know it, those fuckers were skinny jeans. I have big hips, thank you, I need some volume at the bottom to balance that shit out. But no, everything was skinny jeans or leggings.

I went there the other day looking for tops. I tried on a few and put them back on the rack, and when the saleswoman asked me why I didn’t like them, I said they looked like maternity-wear on me. She said it was this thing they’re trying to do with long shirts over leggings. NO NO FUCKING NO. I don’t want that. Make…

OMG, I love how his shoulder matches up with Mrs. Patmore’s.

I agree. I feel the need to occasionally insert something into conversation that indicates my age just so people are reminded that I’m older than they think I am and remember that I know what the fuck I’m doing because I’ve been in this industry for 15 years.

I work in non-profit, too, and I feel like I don’t notice it as much because there are so few men it’s hard to tell if the person would treat me differently if I weren’t a woman. I do think the fact that my boss called me out as not being helpful because I didn’t google something for him was sexist, though I initially…

“My parents just moved to Florida, so I’m going to go down there and be a beach baby, basically.”

Here’s some grilled cheese porn/map to deliciousness for NY dwellers or tourists.

It’s made its way to Jez, too. At least I see it. That might explain some of the recent weirdness I’ve experienced in not being able to see all comments. Eh, who are we kidding, that’s Kinja-normal.

During this week’s Scandal, I was really worried that David was going to bite it, but then I thought of the plus side: Joshua Malina would have far more free time to tweet.

"What is 'fucking'?" Oh, Jamie, you don't even need to ask that question, darling. You were born knowing. Mmmm.

So, the goat was doing goat-like things. Got it.