“30-year-old”

ILY

I hear a party nearby, with a punk rock band playing like they invented the shit. I’m pretty sure it’s my neighbor’s son, which makes me feel a million years old. Between songs I can hear them all going WOOOOOOOO!

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of aunties suddenly shook their heads and said, “Mm, mm, mmmmh!” 

I think you were right to tell them to fuck off.

It’s been almost 2 years of this crap. I can’t wait for it to be over. I dropped off my ballot today and I would love to fall into a coma until Wednesday. If the worst happens can I crash on your couch?

ITALY!!! I leave for Italy on December 17th, and will be there until the 27th. It will be my honeymoon, and my fiancé and I are starting in Rome, then going to Orvieto, then Florence, and ending with Christmas in Venice!!! I’m so excited I can hardly stand it, and I NEED TIPS! We have hotels booked, and we’ve ordered…

Had to take a (very) deep breath and have the annual conversation with my mom about begging her to come spend Christmas with us and my sister’s family. As usual, everything would be taken care of: she wouldn’t be away from home for too long, travel would be the most convenient, airfare would be paid for... and, same…

Yes, and I don’t have kids, so I feel like my position is usually seen as moot, but for christ’s sake - can the media stop sounding like this is some sort of shocking event that he is putting his career on pause? WTF was he supposed to do, be like “hon, take the kid to chemo, I have a world tour” ?

I feel like we could cure voter apathy if Beyonce and Jay Z level stars threw election day concerts with free admission for those bussed over from polling sites. “I Voted” stickers as the price of admission. #LolaCat5forPresident2024

Same. My mom’s neighbor called last week basically to say, “all she wants to do is lay in bed and eat doritos.” and I’m like, “okay, so I will bring her more doritos. It’s fine.”

I’m going through this right now. I just lost my dad, and Oswalt’s words on his loss have been helpful, in a “Right. This is how it’s supposed to be.” way. It sucks. It all sucks and will suck for the foreseeable future.

Bless him for telling the truth. The euphemisms around death are are not helpful. They’re insipid.

Whoo boy. Okay. I’m gonna try to shed some light on Morocco, because while this incident is heinous, it’s rare, and I’m seeing some ignorant comments. Obviously I’m not gonna be able to speak for every Moroccan, this is just my observations.

I try to always remember to use “please” and “thank you” with mine so that I am on the “leave alive” list when the AI uprising eventually takes place.

for the millionth time:

Do not spend a second of your life worrying about me.

What are the odds that car has some hidden cameras and shit.

I lovehate you for this soooo much.