I wear jeans and a long sleeve button up to work but that’s because its always cold in the building. Its 90 degrees outside but inside people have to wear blankets. If it was a little warmer I would wear shorts because I can. Stop telling people what to wear.

Shut up

Get giant beer mugs to drink out of. They have this handy indent in the bottom when placed top down in the dishwasher that fills with water during the wash cycle. When you open the dishwasher if the mug is full of water the dishes are clean. This is not only a simple hack but also encourages you to drink more. 2 birds…

If roommate is still alive you need to re-wash them to ensure their demise.

I have 4 or 5 tape measures lying around my house in various places. I have no idea where any of them are. I would lose this one too.

I have 4 or 5 tape measures lying around my house in various places. I have no idea where any of them are. I would…

I don’t eat at my desk for 2 reasons. First is I work at the same place as my wife so we always eat lunch together and we go find a table somewhere to eat. We don’t have a cafeteria or a break room that is suitable for eating but there are some tables we can go to. After that we go sit in the car or go to a park or go…

You have a phobia of not being an asshole. Its not a terrible thing to have.

I love beer but hate growlers.

I love beer but hate growlers.

More specific purpose kitchen gadgets that you have to clean and store. No thanks.

A few months ago somehow someone got into my spotify account and deleted all of my playlists and started listening to Spanish music. I had a music war with this person by playing Double Vision over and over again. She would play a different song and it would stop and I would just go back and start double vision over…

I need to try this. I usually use round steaks for my stir fry and they are usually tough unless I chop them up small after cooking.

I’m totally out of the loop as far as beef prices are because my cousins are farmers and we get a half a beef from them a year and it usually runs around $3 a pound. That is for ground beef all the way to steaks and everything in between.

You got fired for being a shitty employee and you hold it against your boss?

I bought a desk cycle for at work because I was feeling like garbage. Turns out my desk is too short so I had to return it so I’m back to feeling like garbage. I could walk around more but I am an audio editor so 95% of my day is with headphones on listening to audio so I don’t have the ability to pace hallways often.

Don’t invite them. Problem solved. This also applies to family.

This better?

I have 2 weird lunchers at my work. One eats his breakfast at about 8 or 9 but his breakfast consists of lasagna, taquitos, a full pizza, chicken wings, etc. He always makes enough to share which is nice but I am never in the mood for chicken wings at 8AM.

We only get a few months of not freezing. I’m not going to squander that time reading.

I just got married this past weekend. We had a larger wedding than we wanted but both our parents are from catholic families who wanted to start their own football teams. So we had a large invite list. Every “not coming” RSVP we got we cheered.