I realize that for most people, this is something that is so far out of reach right now, so in moments like these, I am humbly reminded of how privileged my life is. #thisis40

I’d gladly pay to watch Trump try to eat an ice cream cone. Since he wants softball questions about ice cream, a reporter should ask him why he got two scoops and his guest only got one!

I had a brain damaged dog named Kayleigh. She was dumb but sweet. She always had a goofy smile.

By nominating Amy Barrett and hating Black people. It's literally all they need. 

His whining about the ice cream shows further evidence of his mental decline. He appears to believe the media questioning Joe’s choice of ice cream is some random softball question when in reality, ice cream has been Biden’s thing for a long time now.

It wasn’t that there wasn’t much they could do. There was absolutely, positively, completely NOTHING they could have done to stop this.

Round about the time Beyonce announced her pregnancy via photo portraits as the madonna, yet mostly naked, I knew that this was going to be a ‘thing’. Like weddings.... and bridezillas.

Voted today. As a very left, very progressive voter who, who only gets more radical every day and who hates so many aspects of Joe Biden’s career—his “tough on crime” history culminating in his promotion of the 1994 crime bill, his infamous protection of corporate interests at the expense of consumers, his terrible…

Mitch McConnell won the war. His eyes were on the prize and he knew exactly what to do to get there. While so many people made excuses for why a woman could not be president, McConnell seized every opportunity to establish the foundations of a Christian theocracy in the United States. Every vote counts.

I’m betting that he ran to Hope Hicks whining about being “bullied” by Stahl.

The look of sadness in Leslie Stahl’s face when she has to tell the sitting president of the United States that there has been no verification that the Democrats spied on his campaign is a sight to behold. And then that moment when she has to tell Trump that she hasn’t interviewed Joe Biden, just that voice.

is Jezebel just trolling me now?
this article has just about all of the things that make my eyes roll waaaaay back into my skull in a Liz Lemon like fashion....
wow...
Vogue
Pregnancy Reveal
‘spoken-word poetry’ (extra eye roll just typing that)
‘Directed By Lena Dunham’

well done Universe, one point for you.

They should have dressed the White House up as one giant Coronavirus.

After the initial shock it was great. 

I want to know if John Goodman’s finances are okay. Has anyone else seen his commercial for an online slot machine game where he portrays a thumb??

It was so on the nose! The Jeffrey Toobin on zoom prediction too!

Adele was fun! Hands down, best skit was Kate Mckinnon as a fortune teller in 2019, forecasting stuff like depression, adult coloring books, and something called Zoom. 

I thought Lily James was messing around with Dominic West - girl is busy.

Plink plink plink, they fall into line like Stepford wives. 

I’ll probably never hate anybody more than McConnell except Javanka (and those monsters enabling ICE)